Blue fin

Magnet #1324 - Provincetown Blue Whale

Some friends brought this rather big whale magnet back for me from the Cape.

I've always wanted to go whale watching. Well, sorta.

I think I like the idea of whale watching, rather than the actual practice. I'm sure seeing the grandeur of a blue whale, the largest mammal on earth, would probably be all types of awesome. But, to actually go out on the open sea (already do not like), walk around decks staring into the ocean (which I kinda like), and seeing wildlife swim around me (probably would not like), is another story.

There was an incredible report about a blue whale sighting off of Provincetown last month. Sightings are rare and far between and they're not always in Cape waters - apparently the guy leading the tour has been on 6,500 whale watch trips and has only seen four of them. And this recent one was something like 75-80 feet long. I mean, whoa.

But here's something. A 2YO human could crawl through a blue whale's arteries.

I'm sorry.

WHAT?

And like, how do we know this?

Tall tales

Magnet #1321 - Giraffe

Bought this one at NY Comic-Con a few weeks ago. Yes, yes, I know, I dunno, I end up buying the oddest magnets in the oddest of places. But NYCC has come to be the place where I buy my cute things, this giraffe being one of them. Wait til you see the rest of the set!

Just read a bunch of facts about giraffes - they have black tongues and spend 16-20 hours a day feeding, they sleep for about five minutes at a time, and no one's ever seen them bathe.

OH! And their tails are like 8 feet long! Like, I always knew giraffes were tall, but I don't think I've ever noticed how tall their tails were.

See what I did there?

"The Man Who Stole a Leopard"

Magnet #1139 - Leopard

Another one of my Borders Going Out of Business magnets. It's a leopard.

Or, I'm gonna say it's one, because according to this African Wildlife blogpost, it's a leopard because his head's bigger than his body and his spots are rosetta-y. Or, it could be a cheetah because it doesn't really have any spots on his face and has a large nostril.

But we'll go with leopard for the purposes of this blogpost. And yes. I now know way too much about the difference between leopards and cheetahs. Fascinating stuff!

One of my favorite songs off the new Duran Duran album is "The Man Who Stole a Leopard," featuring Kelis. SUCH a good song - all about obsession...with a leopard.

It has the hallmarks of DD style - great melody combined with crazy, gorgeous lyrics. My favorite part is listening to the newscast at the end of the track, with a Brit reader saying, "...the incident has already created much conTROverSY and is now likely to lead to a major investigation. Into the life. Of the man. Who Stole. A Leopard."

The David Lynch-directed video from their Unstaged performance is below. It has the hallmarks of David Lynch style - great direction combined with crazy, gorgeous imagery and graphics.

But, I love the wikistory, because it has the hallmarks of joy style - misunderstood lyrics. Apparently, while writing the song, they were talking about Apple's new OS, and someone asked if they'd installed Leopard yet...and someone misheard and asked if somebody stole a leopard.

And thus the song title was born. C'mon. That's awesome.

Never tick off a squirrel

Magnet #1131 - Charlotte Squirrel

Bought this magnet at the Charlotte airport, and had to use it for today, since yesterday we passed Chapel Hill on our way to Durham (Yeah, Duke - don't ask, I still don't know either).

The squirrel - docile here though it is - reminds me of when I first got to Carolina. I was headed to class, and right beside Phillips Hall, one of the sciences buildings, I noticed two squirrels chasing each other around. I mean, if there's anything UNC has more of than Duke-haters, it's squirrels. I mean, they're everywhere.

So I stopped to get out of the squirrels' way because they were going pretty hard - they ran around for a bit, and then ran up a tree a little out of sight. I hear a bit of a kerfuffle in the leaves, and then all of a sudden, BAM!

The boy squirrel - and a branch! - came flying right out of the tree - right into the sidewalk in front of me!

You know what? He kept right on moving, too - didn't take a second look back at the scary girl squirrel who threw him out of the tree.

Lesson learned, I guess.

Don't tick off a squirrel, they will kick your asses right to the curb. Literally.

Why, oh, why can't it be bears?

Magnet #1089 - Colorado Bear

So, during this indefinite stay in North Carolina, I've been surrounded by all sorts of flora and fauna.

Deer. Coming from every which way. I was driving back from the VA early Sunday morning and came across a whole passel (yes, I just said passel) of deer checking out the Historic Salisbury sign.

Ducks and geese. Crossing the road. I kid you not. For years we've been seeing Duck Crossing signs at City Park - my favorite road sign of all time. But we've never actually seen them crossing the road. Until last week, when they stopped traffic.

Cows, horses and donkeys. Given that we live 10 minutes outside the "city" limits, it's not surprising that I pass pasture after pasture full of them. Of course, there was that dead cow on his side on Providence Church Road, in full-on rigor mortis. Eww.

Raccoons. They're freakin' stealing my trash from the backyard. Or, at least I hope it's just raccoons, anyway.

Tigers. Ok, fine. The I-85 billboard for Tiger World, in Rockwell, of all places. My BIL and I are planning to visit once the season begins. I wonder if they have magnets. Hmmmm.

And don't even get me started on ladybugs, beetles, and other tiny creatures of this earth. Blech.

Or the roadkill! Double blech!

All I have to say is if I have to see NC wildlife, why the hell couldn't it be bears? I've only ever been to the Denver airport, so all I really know about the state is what I've learned from Mork & Mindy. But, I've heard stories of friends of friends who live there and they've had bear in trees in their backyard!

Me? All I get is deer stands and target practice in my backyard.

And raccoons. Don't forget the blasted raccoons.