What about love?

Magnet #1147 - Mills & Boon, Huntley proposes

Today's Mills & Boon magnet was from a good friend who also loves a good love story. I figured it should be used for today, because there are just some things you take for granted will always be around.

Paperback romance books are one. Soap operas are another.

Today, ABC Daytime sounded yet another death knell of soap operas by canceling two of their long-running shows, All My Children and One Life to Live in the coming months, planning on replacing them with ridiculous reality and lifestyle programming.

It's not a surprise to anyone who watches soaps, really. We've known they were dying for years, but we were still surprised when it finally happened.

After all, ABC has been throwing Hail Mary passes for years, trying to keep the shows afloat - moving productions across country, skimping on production values, overworking their talent and crew, reducing show orders, and myriad other tactics.

Ironically, instead of saving the shows, quality suffered immensely, viewers left in droves, leaving ABC to finally manage to drive the shows into the ground.

To be sure, the economic impact is going to be scary - hundreds of people will now be out of work, not to mention the trickle-down effect to other ancillary outlets (industry magazines, a steady stable of pretty talent to pull for other shows, marketing, production, etc.).

But more dramatically (and fittingly so), there's an emotional impact that canceling these two shows will have. It's been playing out all over Twitter and FB all day - stories of how folks watched it with their mothers and grandmothers, of how the families of Pine Valley and Llanview are like real families, of how these shows have helped shape generations of women and men since they started airing more than 40 years ago.

And, if you think about it, these TV families have been coming into people's homes for 40 years, it's no wonder that there's a real sense of loss and betrayal from the audience.

It's fairly sad-making, no matter how much we were prepared for it.

Anyway, too many other folks will write scathing and/or objective autopsies of what ABC did wrong over the last decade, and still other folks will write heartfelt good-byes to the shows, so I won't go on about it anymore.

But, I have to believe this: Romance is still the best-selling genre for a reason.

There will always be men. And there will always be women. And there will always be men and women falling in love with each other.

Which means that it doesn't matter what format it's in, there will always be great love stories to tell.

Now we just have to look harder find them.

Hunk of the day

Magnet #851 - SoapNet Hunk

Ok. So here's my last SoapNet swag magnet! And the silly people at ABC are closing down the network in a couple of years, so who knows if I'll get any other SN swag again!

It's kinda fitting that I use this one as my last one, methinks. I mean, what else do you see more of on SoapNet than on any one network, but hunks.

And, it's such a weird word, because honestly, I'd rather blog on a magnet that said cuteboy or hotboy. "Hunk" is just more of a visceral, I want to jump his bones, word, rather than "cuteboy/hotboy," the more look from far away but don't touch (unless he touches first, obvi) word.

Lord. Did I just blog that out loud? So much for those Bible verses my cabbie gave me this morning at 6:30. Heh.

Also fitting that I use this magnet for today, given that it was our full day of running around with Erik Estrada with the Healthy Sight Patrol, for our client Transitions Optical.

I've magnetblogged about him before, so I won't go into it, except to show you these pictures, but each time we work together, I'm amazed at three things.

First, how nice and engaging the guy is. He seriously knows how to put on a show, and talk to everyone - from the littlest guy (a little toddler out in Brooklyn) to the oldest senior with her walker, who walks right up to him and smacks his forearm for not aging like she did. Heh.

Second, how the crowd, of pretty much every demographic, responds to him. Not only the gals, but the guys. Not only young, but the old. And, not only the US, but everywhere. Today, we were approached by folks from Brazil, Argentina, Russia, Japan, China, Ivory Coast, Spain, United Kingdom, France. Apparently, Ponch is global, baby!

Third, how even after all these years, Ponch is apparently timeless, too. The guy never ages. No. Seriously. He needs to figure out how to bottle that stuff.

Yep. You can't help but like the guy.

Plus, who can't like a guy who totally went and told my weatherman crush that I want to marry him. Then, when I finally get to talk to my weatherman crush...all's he can talk about is how awesome Erik Estrada is.

Oiy.

eta:
An amusing thing. I just went to look up HUNK quotes. Hahahaah.

S*#lmates, not so much

Magnet #824 - Dawson Leery

Would you believe that it was either this magnet, or using my last SoapNet swag magnet with the word HUNK on it?

Hunk. Just the very word makes me think Hunk Golden, or Sixteen Candles bohunk, or even that Preppy guidebook they pubbed in the 80s. Does anyone remember that pink plaid book?

Anyway, I know I'm being silly. But I needed something to giggle myself out of my moody broodiness and woefulness.

So I settle for Dawson Leery, because first, NCISGretchen has a new job on Rizzoli & Isles, and because Mercy was canceled, and because, well, just because.

It's here where I'll confess something surprising.

I totally rooted for Dawson and Joey.

No. I did. I can admit it.

I was Dawson/Joey all the way. All the way, up until Dawson read her journal. When he did that, I knew they'd never, ever be happy. No matter how cute they were.

After that? Hellooooo, Team Pacey.

eta:
And now I'm sad, because I just found out that Anne Sweeney's shutting down SoapNet. But after that HUNK magnet, I'll have no more SoapNet swag magnets!

Won't someone please think of the magnets!!!!

Baby, it's cold outside

Magnet #719 - SoapNet Cold

Oh, it's not that cold, but how could I let Snowmaggeddon 2010 go by without using this magnet?

Seriously, I can't believe how much people are all freaking out over this snow here in NYC. It isn't that bad.

Well, I guess, til I try to go to work tomorrow. And even then, it still probably won't be that bad.

Sheesh.

I will say it is wreaking havoc over work schedules around here, folks from the burbs having to work from home, or dragging their kids around, or businesses closing because people can't get in.

I'm kinda torn. For as much as I really, really, really want a snow day, we don't have time for it at work. But, I love coming in on snow days, because seriously, I get so much more work done when others aren't around. I'm betting it's partially because I'm way more productive in sweatshirts and jeans.

On the other hand, it does bug the crap out of me when people use it as an excuse. Oh, I'm not coming in today, because I don't want to be in the weather. Oh, I can't get into work, because of the weather.

Which holds true, if you're far away and relying on trains, planes and automobiles.

But, seriously, if you live nine blocks away from work?

I think you should be getting your ass out into that cold. Heh.

Past, present and future

Magnet #695 - 1939 World's Fair

I love World's Fairs - I've been to one or two, but mostly I love seeing what the other ones have done in the past.

The 1939 World's Fair first piqued my interest because it played host during the 5-day royal visit of King George and Queen Elizabeth, the same visit that included hot dogs up at FDR's place in Hyde Park.

The fair was held out in Queens, so it was at the Queens Museum of Art (one of the few original fair buildings) where I bought this magnet. It's a fair poster that features the theme center - Trylon and Perisphere, what some reports called the ball and bat. Heh.

It housed the "Democracity" exhibit, a utopian world view of the future. People would walk up the long, giant ramp around the globe, through the 610-ft tower, and into the 18-story giant globe, which was reportedly something like twice the size of Radio City's interior.

What I can't believe is how these two giant structures were dismantled at the end of the fair! Actually, most of venues were demolished after the fair, leaving various supercool books and random supercool footage and documentaries to tell their stories of long ago.

I picked this magnet for today, because after being totally sucked into Being Erica on Hulu, I'm totally watching this Being Erica Do-Over Marathon on SoapNet today.

I completely and totally disagree with the major plot-point of the show. Our heroine Erica has had a life of bad choices. In fact, she has so many regrets in her 32-year-old lifetime that the fates have granted her a way to go back in time to fix and/or course correct her life.

Don't get me wrong, there are probably one or two events in my life I wouldn't mind revisiting or course correcting, but I can't see a sadder outcome than a life of bad choices and regrets.

Still, I'm thoroughly charmed by Erica, played by Erin Karpluk. She's a cute character, and watching this Erin chick play her, is like watching the best of Lauren Graham and Joanna Garcia. Even though she's that cute chick that boys fall over themselves for, she's still kinda everyday normal, and you just want to be her pal. If only to borrow from her superdupercute (though not everyday-sized, but whatever) wardrobe.

Plus, she's somewhat close in age to me, so when she goes back in time, it's always fun to see the clothes and music I grew up with. And, I'm sure it's that same music that will make a DVD boxset cost-prohibitive to produce, so I'm dropping the show to DVD.

Truth be told, though, if I had the chance to go back in time to visit for a bit, it likely wouldn't be the famous places or people and not necessarily even my own timeline. It'd probably be these World's Fairs and Expositions dotted through history - each fair a snapshot of a time period, with a dreamy focus on the future that they were all expecting, based on a past they didn't want to forget.

The George who stares at goats

Magnet #624 - SoapNet's Sexy

Apparently, you can do what you will, but there are just some people out there that you cannot make look ugly. George Clooney is one of those men.

Even with his ridiculous and frankly unnecessary mustache in Men Who Stare at Goats, he's still sexy.

Even when you put him in 80s hair and make him dance, he's still sexy.

Even when you put him in sandy desert wear or cargo pants and a ballcap, he's still sexy.

Even when you bloodshot his eyes, tape his nose, and basically beat the bejeepers out of him, he's still sexy.

The man can't help it.

But even I know that sexy can't be the whole movie. Or, rather, any of it. Clearly, him being sexy was not the point of the movie.

Although, I am a little hard pressed to figure out what the whole point of the movie was. Sure, it was funny at times (especially with the meta Jedi stuff, though the joke started to get old), and Grant "OMG, who's that guy parking in George Clooney's parking spot, s it him? Is it him?" Heslov's direction was pretty good (even with the time jumps) and Ewan McGregor's American accent was ok (though it wasn't consistent between the acting and his very modulated VO), and Jeff Bridges seems to relish his hippie role (doesn't he always?) and Kevin Spacey was amusingly sadistic (isn't he always?). And the soundtrack's pretty good, too.

But at some point, I was kinda waiting for the story to get to a point. So much so, that when it did come to a turning point, I almost missed it.

Also, it's unfortunate, and they're gonna get dinged somewhere, I'm sure, but there's about a three-minute scene that literally stopped my heart and took me directly out of the movie, and it almost didn't get me back.

No, not when the goat dropped dead. You'll know it when you see it, and I would bet that had this movie been a later release, they might have excised that scene altogether, I think, in the wake of last week's horrific events at Fort Hood. Just bad timing, is all.

Oh, well. I said yesterday he's got two more movies to go this year. Don't get me wrong - the movie's an okay way to spend 90 minutes. I'll admit that I probably would not have gone to see it sans Clooney, but then again, I'm not the demo. Not really sure who is the demo, and I definitely couldn't tell by the theatre audience, either.

Still. As I said. It's an okay way to spend 90 minutes, if only for the buddy-buddy show Clooney and Ewan.

Hmmm. On another note, I'm almost done with these SoapNet swag magnets that my friend got me. That's sad making.

Hello, luvah

Magnet #555 - SoapNet's Love

So in complete opposites to my last SoapNet swag magnet for Punk, here's one on Love.

I finally understand Carrie Bradshaw's love of a good shoe.

Despite all the Imelda Marcos jokes that can be made about Filipinos, I'm most certainly not a shoehorse. I'm generally the basic inexpensive brown, black and blue - in heels and casualwear - and I'm a pretty happy camper. Every once in a while, I find a shoe that I fall in love with, and its usually something printed or embroidered with pretty colors.

But yesterday, I found the perfect shoe - comfy, despite its height, and I could walk across the slick poured concrete floor at Fossil, without busting my behind. In two colors, gorgeous black and brown - styled very 40s, with an art-deco'ish (even almost Frank Lloyd Wright-esque) 3.5-inch-heel.

Frankly, the heel is what sold me, because it's just so well designed.

Love.

Then, I went to go look up a picture of the shoe - a picture which totally doesn't do it justice, but I draw the line at taking a picture of my shoes. It's funny and fitting, and somehow Fossil, that their site says my shoe is part of their Vintage Sole collection, and the page header is "It's all about the architecture" and the blurb is all about the lovely design and attention to detail.

Oh, Fossil. How I love you. And especially your outlet store at outlet prices.

eta:
Yes, that's right. I just blogged about a shoe. I had a whole long and frankly lovely post about love in my head this morning, not to mention a good two weddings and another friend's baby due later this year to blog about love. And I still chose the love of a good shoe.

Dang. They better still be wonderful after the first day I wear them!

Go ahead, punk

Magnet #452 - SoapNet's Punk

Rant ahead.

Of all the things I hate most in this world, it's rudeness. Lack of manners. I'm not claiming to be Emily Post, because I have my moments in the sun when it comes to uncouth, rowdy and altogether unbecoming of a lady behavior. I love this wiki definition though:

They are like laws in that they codify or set a standard for human behavior, but they are unlike laws in that there is no formal system for punishing transgressions, other than social disapproval. They are a kind of norm.

But honestly, we're not talking state dinners with full on social graces here. We're just talking about common courtesy. My parents taught us how to say Yes, Sir and Yes, Ma'am; and please and thank you, and how to watch ourselves in public and with our friends, and for goodness' sake, how to freakin' behave. Didn't everyone's parents (and teachers) teach them?

So, why, in the space of a couple of days, have I seen such utter rudeness? You could claim that it's because I'm in New York, and surrounded by New Yorkers. Except that it's not.

Graduation ceremonies up at Brandeis University. That's a Nobel Prize winner delivering the commencement address. Get your loud and chatty children out of the auditorium. And while you're at it - production person all in black with a headset - you're not supposed to be seen or heard. So. Shut. Up.

People who don't say please and thank you! Non-New Yorkers! I have a coworker who doesn't ever say please. (Don't worry, even as a courtesy, he doesn't read this blog.) He simply demands what he wants - via email, on the phone, in person. Doesn't even matter that he thanks the person - the self-entitled way he conducts himself has already done the damage.

And, really. How do you not say thank you when people go out of their way to include you in their activities? How do you not even fake offer to pull out your wallet to pay for your meal, not to mention offering to help pay for expenses when you're on a trip? What is that about?

Now, this one may be New Yorkers, but seriously. How do you not make yourself as small as possible whenever you're walking up crowded stairs, or when you're on a train, or just walking down a crowded sidewalk? Why must you fling your backpack all over the place, walk (slowly) up the middle of a staircase, or take up twice as much room than you really need on a bus or train? Why wouldn't you get out of the way when people are entering or exiting the train? Why wouldn't you scooch over to give up your seat for the poor pregnant chick?

And don't even get me started on the triple-wide strollers on playdates in the City - I fail to understand why the unsuspecting public has to pay for your decision to populate the world. Single. Handedly.

Miss Manners herself (and probably my mom) would be appalled at this magnetpost, I'm sure.

Don't worry - it's not any of you, dear readers. As I mentioned, these people don't read my blog. And, if they do?

Suck it.

Dramarama

Magnet #393 - SoapNet Drama

Or, rather Innisbrook drama.

Or, rather drama, in general.

Eh, it's not worth a whole magnetpost. Possible edits to come.

Let's be honest

Magnet #363 - SoapNet Liar

This is the perfect magnet to talk about two shows that I've been following, Trust Me and Lie to Me. I haven't checked the ratings for either, and it's been a while since I read any reviews on them. So it's absolutely possible that I'm the only one in America still watching them.

Trust Me is that "not-like-Mad-Men-at-all, trust-me" TNT show with Eric McCormack and Tom Cavanagh as Chicago ad guys, with Monica Potter and a host of lesser-knowns rounding out their Creative group.

The bulk of Trust Me is just stereotypical advertising agency roles and situations. You can almost tell that the ad guy creators come from the Creative side - all the clients are unreasonable, all the account people are idiots and exist just to gum up the works, and the Creatives are running around going to extreme measures just to live up to some high-stakes overpromise they've made to the clients. And they don't care about the media or production groups as evidenced by the amount of mentions they've been given in the last several episodes.

If you're not in the ad business, I haven't a clue why you'd even watch this bunch of neurotic crazy folk trying to solve their usually self-inflicted ad agency problem of the week. To tell you the truth, I don't know why I'm still watching - though I'm guessing I'm just a glutton for punishment while I sit and watch plenty of my real world agita get acted out (in hyperbole, of course) on screen.

But I haven't really been made to care about any of the characters, and I think that's where the show is lacking. Were it not for my fondness for Eric and Tom, and how well they play off each other, I'd have given up several episodes ago. As it is, part of the reason I keep coming back is the part where they show me previews where it looks like Monica Potter leaves the show. And I get disappointed every time. She's not sympathetic - no matter how much they make her cry - I could give a hoot about her. Plus, speaking of stereotypes, I keep thinking her quite annoying character reads more like an account person, than copywriter. (Full disclosure, I'm an account person.)

But, there must be something there, because I still spend my 44 minutes alternatively laughing my ass off and yelling at the screen. (Yes, I fast-forward - three arrows - through the commercials, too, but didn't manage to escape last week's Dove product placement or this week's Facebook product placement.) And on that sad fact...moving on.

Lie to Me is that FOX show with Tim Roth (being allowed to use his accent - yay!) and Kelli Williams as the team that people bring in to figure out when people are lying or not.

I'm not going to lie, I really love this show. A lot of the body language stuff I've heard before from books and documentaries and stuff, and it's true, at some point, I'll probably get tired of them expositioning every. single. microexpression. for every. single. situation.

But for now, the show, with its odd characters (most notably, the boyfriend from ABC Family's Middleman, Brendan Hines - yay, new gig! - who has taken a vow of truth), and dialogue that makes me giggle from the cute (though probably wasn't meant to be), keeps me entertained. A caveat - I'm not entirely sure where they're going with the characters, and their relationships to each other, but they've dropped a few nuances along the way to keep me tuning in.

I am a little worried, because there's a part of me that wonders if everyone in the world will start watching the show, and learn how to lie effectively, without getting caught. The other part of me wants to write down and/or commit to memory every trick that they tell me, because some of that stuff has already been helpful.

Oh, there's even a small part of me that worries for their clearances guy - someone has to clear all that editorial footage they keep using - I haven't looked at who they're crediting at the end, but dang, you have to wonder how Bill Clinton feels when they bring up that Monica footage constantly.

Anyway, check out both shows - I'd be interested to see what other folks think. Honestly.

Always. Only Us. Part 2: And the not so Good.

Magnet #268 - Soapnetic

I picked up this holographic button, now magnet, from SSW. Soapnetic is SoapNet's online video outlet - kind of like NBC's deal with Hulu. And it would totally be a cool thing to watch, were it not totally and frustratingly not available through every ISP. Hmph.

I've mentioned a couple of times on joy magnetism about how I used to love Zach and Kendall from All My Children. Well, this guy's Cameron Mathison, the guy who plays Ryan Lavery, making my little lovable twosome into an annoying troika.

Without this becoming a long rant about how CamMat is the hardest working man in showbusiness with enough heat to launchpad on to something else, so why hasn't he gone off the show and done it yet is beyond me, I actually love the guy, I just wish Ryan would leave town for good already. If he could take the current AMC writers with him, that'd be superduperawesome.

And, that's all I have to say about that. Heh.

Sorry, but my dance card is full.

Magnet #245 - SoapNet 24/7

Pink for NBCAM. Check.

I've avoided writing up my tv show dance card, mainly because I'd have to use mousetype to fit all my shows on the card. But yesterday's Facts of Joy #4 said: "In any given week, I watch at least 30 hourlongs of scripted television. Which means I value television more than sleep. Yes. I know. There's something wrong with that."

Indeed.

By my convoluted math, if I watched full seasons of all my shows back to back, it would take about a month and a half of me watching television 24/7 before I was done.

The below list is in no particular order, and includes all the shows that I watch that are still on the air (even if they're not on currently). It does not include the fact that this year, in an unprecedented move, I've broken up with a few shows (Pushing Daisies, Ugly Betty) and cut new shows from the roster early (The Mentalist [sorry, Simon and Owain], Eleventh Hour [sorry, Rufus], and Life on Mars [sorry, Jason]), and I've almost stopped watching my soap operas (sorry, Thorsten).

*Oh, and it does include shows that I know I'll probably watch when they debut. Beyond this list, I cannot add any more shows. Nope. Thank God I don't watch any unscripted television.

ABC (10)
Private Practice, Dirty Sexy Money, Eli Stone, Brothers & Sisters, Grey's Anatomy, LOST, All My Children, Cupid*, Castle*, Single with Parents*

CBS (5)
The Ex-List, Ghost Whisperer, Numb3rs, The Unit, Flashpoint

NBC (8)
Knight Rider, My Own Worst Enemy, Crusoe, Lipstick Jungle, Chuck, Heroes, Friday Night Lights, Kings*

FOX (4)
Fringe, Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles, Bones, Dollhouse*

The CW (6)
90210, Privileged, Valentine, Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill, Supernatural

TBS (2)
The Closer, Saving Grace

USA (4)
Psych, Burn Notice, In Plain Sight, The Starter Wife

A&E (1)
The Cleaner

BBC-A (11)
Doctor Who, Torchwood, Top Gear, Gavin & Stacey, Cash in the Attic, Primeval, Skins, Graham Norton, Robin Hood, MI-5, Merlin*

AMC (1)
Mad Men

SoapNet (2)
GH: Night Shift, MVP

ABC Family (3)
Lincoln Heights, Greek, Diary of an American Teenager

FX (1)
Sons of Anarchy

HBO (2)
Entourage, True Blood

Lifetime (1)
Army Wives

Showtime (1)
Diary of a Call Girl

Sundance (2)
Architecture School, Iconoclasts

Total: 64

Gravy. I watch television like it's my job. Someone tell me again why the hell I'm not in the industry again?

eta:
I totally forgot about the Sundance Channel. Sorry, Bob.

eta2:
Though no one really reads past entries, I'm totally going to start crossing out shows that are canceled, if only to help me keep my own sanity. Heh.

Terminator Tough*

Magnet #238 - SoapNet Soap

Soap operas got their name because they were dramas that were sponsored by companies who made soap. So there's a time-honored tradition of advertisers sponsoring whole television series.

They're going through a renaissance of sorts in recent years. Some of the cable netlets make their money by selling advertisers whole evenings of programming. But, it's probably easier and cheaper for advertisers to buy sponsorships for whole episodes instead - it makes for shorter, less likely to be FF'd commercial breaks and some product integration as well.

My favorite of late was last week's Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles (click here for GoldenGait's review of the actual show), provided with limited commercial breaks sponsored by the All-New Dodge Ram. There were four commercial breaks, all of them were Ram Challenge trailers, brought to you by the All-New Dodge Ram Challenge and Tony freakin' Scott. And, then within the show, somehow, John Connor's protective detail are suddenly driving a veritable fleet of Dodge vehicles.

Even with the requisite in-your-face, seconds-long close-up of the truck logo, they actually did a pretty good job with integrating product into the program. They had John and hot uncle Derek (BAG, my word, have you come a long way from 90210) leaving for the military academy and they were packing a million supplies into the flatbed of the truck. Nice product demo, that. The covered back of the truck, sliding in the giant boxes into the back, stuffing guns into the side storage space, and then, the cuteboys climbing into it. And then of course, the beauty shots of it rolling into the parking lot, or during the car chases, etc.

But for this episode, there were the trailers for the actual Ram Challenge web series, which directed you to the superfun to play on ramchallenge.com website.

Who went to that site? I certainly did. Who is gonna watch when it launches on October 19? I certainly am.

It's eight Ram Tough guys on four Ram Tough teams - the Cowboys, the Firefighters, the Contractors and the Military. They have to put the Ram Tough Dodge Ram through four big Ram Tough race challenges. The boys are kinda hot with their cowboy hats and tight jeans, and adorable, with their regional accents and their "love" for Dodge. Plus seriously? It's Tony freakin' Scott, you know the footage is gonna rock hard.

Now. Am I the target demo? No. Am I gonna buy a Dodge Ram when I live in NYC and have no need for one? Obviously not.

Nevertheless, I am the biggest sucker for marketing. Well. Marketing...and pretty boys.

So what did this Connor Chronicles sponsorship get Dodge? Well, according to Advertising Age, they were 10th on the Most-Recalled In-Program Product Placement list for that week. We could talk about this list til the cows come home - how great was that pretty boy interaction when Dean ripped out Sam's damnable iPod from his classic car on Supernatural, or what the hell was Boeing thinking, letting the The Unit (pretty boys again - I said I was a sucker) use their name in a plane hijacking story. But I digress.

And from me, well, I must have spent a good half-hour on the Ram Challenge site, I raved about it to everyone on my FB status and on a messageboard, and now I'm telling ya'll.

I'm like a Word-of-Mouth T-800. Well done, Dodge, well done.

*Mind you, I don't think Dodge Ram's using the Ram Tough external marketing tagline anymore, but somewhere on internal strategy documents, they have to be using it as a brand personality trait. Don't you think?

What the rest of the world thinks of America

Magnet #206 - SoapNet Rich

Yep. Talk about misperception. Relatively speaking, sure, America is a wealthy nation.

Except for, it seems, this year, and in particular, today. I personally freaked out earlier this year, over the Bear Stearns fiasco. Now Lehman Brothers is filing for Chapter 11, Merrill Lynch is being bought (wtf?) by Bank of America, and AIG is scrambling for emergency funds, and WaMu may be doing the same. And now, everyone's holding their breath for the opening bell in a few minutes.

Superscary. Everyone says don't panic. Ummm, yeah, ok. I'll get right on that.

Anyway, I'm turning this magnetpost on a dime....for a quick Rich story to end on a less dire note.

When we were at Chapel Hill, my galpals and I went out over to Duke to see how the other half partied. First, it was a dorm kegger with a band. Whoa, private schools can party right out in the open, apparently. Second, this supercute guy came up to me, and introduced himself.

Him: Hi, I'm Rich.
joy (starting to walk away, with my nonPoker face showing): I'm sure you are.
Him: No, no, I mean, my name is Rich.

We ended up going out after that, but really, he was in the engineering department, and thus way too smart for me. OMG, I think I dated Rusty from Greek!

Pure as the snow under that tire over there

Magnet #161 - SoapNet Pure

<---- The second in my SoapNet swag magnets.

Am I the only person on the planet watching that new ABCFamily series Secret Life of an American Teenager? It's this new family-oriented drama brought to you by Brenda Hampton - the same woman who gave us RevCam and the 7th Heaven bunch.

Secret Life has me puzzled as hell. I can't figure out if I'm offended by the exteme stereotyping in this "Brendavision" show.

At the heart of the show is a 15-year-old all-American teenage girl who got herself knocked up one awkward, misguided night...at Band Camp.

The rest of the show is an extremely contrived community of high school students from all walks of life and religions, an intricately complicated set of parents who have either dated or married or are sleeping with each other, and a soundtrack and sets repurposed from 7th Heaven.

Consider:

The born-again Christian family is the blondest blond family to ever blond. The neurotically perfect cheerleader daughter is sporting a purity ring, which drove her football jock boyfriend into the arms of the resident bad-girl.

The bad-girl who is pretty much the fallen Eve figure, a Latina chick who loves sex and isn't afraid to tell EVERYone, with a promiscuous flight attendant mother who not only leaves her daughter alone frequently, but tells her daughter that the married-to-another boyfriend is being allowed stay at the house while she's away. And, by the way, Brenda, I love the slightly Latin score whenever you pan across her inappropriate-for-school attire as she sways down the hall.

The pregnant girl's family was seemingly perfect, except that the father's sleeping with Latina chick's mom, and has now left to move in with Latina chick.

The foster kid with a heart of gold whose own personal traumas prevent him from connecting with anyone, except for his counselor, who just learned that the kid is about to be a father.

The requisite Catholic best friend can't believe she has a friend who's not only considering an abortion, but whose parents are possibly getting divorced.

The requisite African-American best friend who has quickly become my favorite because she doesn't do anything but advise the pregnant chick to tell her parents.

The pregnant girl refuses to talk about how she's pregnant. WTF? She's 15. And now, her new boyfriend that she's in love with and is in love with her has asked her to marry him. Again, WTF?

The Asian best friends of the stupid boyfriend who are dating each other, but who function as the chorus, a conduit of gossip, and a fount of sexual data.

And on and on the travesty goes.

So why am I watching? Well, for starters, it's summer.

But, really, it's because with each ridiculous word that comes out of the actors' mouths, I wonder just what the hell is Brenda's vision.

SoapNet, wherefore art thou?

Magnet #144 - SoapNet Hot

I love swag. I'm a sucker for anything with a corporate logo on it. No, really. Stop snickering. I can hear you.

I had a friend who used to work at HBO, so she had access to all the coolest swag. But did I ask her for cool HBO stuff when she was there, or when she went travelling to trade shows? Nope. She basically knew which channels to hit up.

And at the time, my favorite little netlet was SoapNet. Oh, I know I was slightly obsessed with the soaps at the time, but more than that, for me, SoapNet was the damn little network that could. They were hot, and were the perfect case study of launching a cable network with a corporate umbrella. They had just celebrated their 5-year anniversary, they had stayed true to their mission, and hadn't yet branched off into their own programming, or those stupid SNM (Sunday Night Movies), or extended their scope to soaps...and celebrities. Ugh.

And they always had the best swag - right down to these fun little magnets (with Hot, Sexy, Liar, etc.) that I'll eventually post here, and supercool wine-glass tags labeled with "Evil Twin" and "Hero."

SoapNet branding was just wonderfully insane - and strong. It kinda still is, with its great commercials and really strong brand presence. But now their programming's gone a little haywire - taking what used to be my go-to-sleep channel to my go-to-sleep channel if Boomerang's not playing something good.

And I gotta tell ya, SoapNet - Boomerang's usually always playing something good late-night. Even when it's Top Cat. Or that damn Thundarr the Barbarian.