joy magnetism: Pure as the snow under that tire over there

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Friday, August 1, 2008

Pure as the snow under that tire over there

Magnet #161 - SoapNet Pure

<---- The second in my SoapNet swag magnets.

Am I the only person on the planet watching that new ABCFamily series Secret Life of an American Teenager? It's this new family-oriented drama brought to you by Brenda Hampton - the same woman who gave us RevCam and the 7th Heaven bunch.

Secret Life has me puzzled as hell. I can't figure out if I'm offended by the exteme stereotyping in this "Brendavision" show.

At the heart of the show is a 15-year-old all-American teenage girl who got herself knocked up one awkward, misguided Band Camp.

The rest of the show is an extremely contrived community of high school students from all walks of life and religions, an intricately complicated set of parents who have either dated or married or are sleeping with each other, and a soundtrack and sets repurposed from 7th Heaven.


The born-again Christian family is the blondest blond family to ever blond. The neurotically perfect cheerleader daughter is sporting a purity ring, which drove her football jock boyfriend into the arms of the resident bad-girl.

The bad-girl who is pretty much the fallen Eve figure, a Latina chick who loves sex and isn't afraid to tell EVERYone, with a promiscuous flight attendant mother who not only leaves her daughter alone frequently, but tells her daughter that the married-to-another boyfriend is being allowed stay at the house while she's away. And, by the way, Brenda, I love the slightly Latin score whenever you pan across her inappropriate-for-school attire as she sways down the hall.

The pregnant girl's family was seemingly perfect, except that the father's sleeping with Latina chick's mom, and has now left to move in with Latina chick.

The foster kid with a heart of gold whose own personal traumas prevent him from connecting with anyone, except for his counselor, who just learned that the kid is about to be a father.

The requisite Catholic best friend can't believe she has a friend who's not only considering an abortion, but whose parents are possibly getting divorced.

The requisite African-American best friend who has quickly become my favorite because she doesn't do anything but advise the pregnant chick to tell her parents.

The pregnant girl refuses to talk about how she's pregnant. WTF? She's 15. And now, her new boyfriend that she's in love with and is in love with her has asked her to marry him. Again, WTF?

The Asian best friends of the stupid boyfriend who are dating each other, but who function as the chorus, a conduit of gossip, and a fount of sexual data.

And on and on the travesty goes.

So why am I watching? Well, for starters, it's summer.

But, really, it's because with each ridiculous word that comes out of the actors' mouths, I wonder just what the hell is Brenda's vision.
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Kevinpars said...

Wow, I am not sure what is more disturbing - the premise of the show or the fact that you posted this write-up at 3:42 AM.

joy said...

Yeah, it's become a bit of a habit to write my blogposts just before I hit the hay. Last night was just a late one, is all. No worries.

But, for my 10 cents...the show's more disturbing. It's kinda funny, I don't usually struggle with writing my magnetposts, but I found that I couldn't pick just a few things wrong with the show, and in the end, it just became a rant. Heh.