joy magnetism: It's not Fandango's fault, I suppose.




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Saturday, August 16, 2008

It's not Fandango's fault, I suppose.

Magnet #176 - Fandango

Nope, not a thing to do with the Olympics - unless there's an Olympic event to do with movie-watching. And there should be, methinks. I would totally place. Or, put forth a good time, anyway.

I picked this Fandango magnet for today, because it feels like the summer movie season is not just dying out, but fizzling in a major way. We started out the summer buying tickets weeks in advance, getting to the theatre 2 hours ahead of time, to buying tickets 30 minutes ahead of time and walking right in. And that should have been our first clue. The second, was the only two dozen people in the gross and uncleaned theatre #9 (Shame on you, AMC @ 34th street).

Anyway - I finally saw The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor last night. Ummm, NO. I've had my fair share of movie disappointments this summer, but The Mummy 3 beat Indy 4 for worst movie this summer. And that makes me sad - because I freakin' loved the first one, and liked the second well enough. But, my word, even Scorpion King was better than last night's movie.

I had written up a huge long review of it, but this is a magnetblog, so highlights only.

The good: Neat use of the Great Wall of China (though I was looking for the Olympic cyclists on it). Russell Wong. Cool soldier statues (even though the fight scenes were just stupid). Shirtless Brendan Fraser. Weird mystical spells. Russell Wong. Dramatic sets. Shirtless Brendan Fraser. Pretty good soundtrack. John Hannah (even though he was lampooning his original part.) Russell Wong. Shirtless Brendan Fraser.

The bad: Yeti. Craptastic dialogue. Yeti. Forced emotional scenes. Yeti. Silly storyline. Yeti. Odd and not seamless at all special effects. Yeti. Casting of Brendan Fraser and Luke Ford as father/son age. Yeti.

And let's not forget Maria Bello, the wrong replacement for Rachel "I've got an Oscar now, why should I do another Mummy movie" Weisz. Her costumes and hair were fabulous. The part and her accent were just stupendously not.

From Rob Cohen, I expected a hell of a lot better. From Miller Gough Ink, I expected a lot better. As it was, I enjoyed the end title animations better than the actual movie itself.

Please, never resurrect this franchise again.
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5 comments:

Erika said...

You forgot the one-armed Russell Wong skeleton--that was pretty bad. And it was theatre #10.

On the bright side, finally there's a movie worse than Indy 4!

GoldenGait said...

I agree, I agree, I agree. With absolutely everything.

V said...

Wouldn't the whole "Yeti" thing be your first clue? I mean, how many blockbuster Bigfoot movies have there been? The only one I can recall is the made-for-TV movie where the Six Million Dollar Man met Bigfoot. It was oozy cheezy fun.

I can hear you laughing from here.

joy said...

Dude, the Yetis came out of freakin' nowhere. The little Asian princess called out into the mountain wilds and poof! there they were.

I seriously busted out laughing when I saw them.

Erika said...

I was so expecting her to be calling her posse, but who would've guessed her posse were growling snowbeasts?! We really couldn't stop laughing, it was so unbelievable.